My 25th Birthday

This birthday has been very bittersweet for me. Robert and I found out that we were going to have another baby early this month. I experienced such happiness but it was very short lived. At 6 weeks into the pregnancy our little bean would no longer be coming into this world. I was heartbroken & am still grieving. I am glad God ended it naturally so that we wouldn't continue to make a baby that would of had ailments or other problems. There is a reason for everything. I am doing everything I can to live a healthier lifestyle so when baby #2 does finally come along my body will be strong.

Because of all of the turmoil around my birthday Robert wanted to make the day extra special. He truly has been my rock along with another friend through all of this. He has been supporting me & being extra nice & helpful these last few days.... Last night I got dressed up & before we went out he brought me 2 dozen long stemmed pink roses, they are beautiful! He also got me the Vera Wang Princess fragrance gift set that comes with a purple clutch purse, the large bottle of perfume, the small roll on bottle & the matching body lotion. We then went to my favorite elegant restaurant downtown called "The Keg" and we both got a bottle of wine and had the prime rib which was TO DIE FOR. He told them it was my birthday so they brought out a piece of cake with a candle and him and the waitress sang Happy Birthday to me =) We went to Fort Fright next... I use to love Horror/ scary things, but now they really freak me out! There were clowns chasing and scary me and I nearly peed my pants!

This morning for my birthday breakfast we got McDonald's egg mcmuffins, for lunch we got M & M's french soups w/ grilled cheese on french bread, and for dinner we are going to Rob's parents for my birthday dinner. I would say I had a very fulfilling birthday & I have been truly reminded this birthday how much I am loved. I am very lucky.

To my unborn child.... Even though you weren't anywhere near developed there still will always be a place in my heart for who you could of been. I will always remember October 19, 2010. One of the most saddest days of my life, but also one that made me really appreciate the gift of life. After what happened you made me realize all I have.... You gave me the gift of "realization" that Stella is such a precious gift. I gave her an extra long hug on that day..... and have been giving her extra long hugs since. Your soul will be born into our next child someday soon. =)

Whats new this fall

Just found out a few days ago that good friends of mine are having a baby! This is very exciting! I am so happy for them & thrilled that Stella will have a new playmate, possibly lover depending on the sex. =) I really hope to get pregnant again within the next year or so! I have been wanting another one lately.

On to other exciting news, I have decided to persue my idea of publishing children's books. I have written my first draft and I have a friend who is a really talented illistrator so we are going to collaborate on this first book & get it published. If it does well we might take this on and write more! I will keep you posted with how it goes.

HAPPY FALL EVERYONE, hope you all are getting your costumes ready!! =)

My Favorite Season..... Fall of 2010!

The crisp damp air, cloudy grey skys with drizzle.... Halloween decorations coming out, cozy sweaters, fall colorful leaves, Starbucks gingerbread lattes & an afternoon spent in Chapters. House music while going for car rides while the rain hits the windshield outside in the cold breeze. My birthday... Halloween parties & all the fun that surrounds that holiday, it releases your inner-child.... There is nothing like this time of year!

Rob & I have an annual Halloween party at our house since it is a time of year I really enjoy. We are going to start having a theme each year & this year will be the "dark-side". I have always wanted to be a witch for Halloween & never have been one so this is the perfect opportunity to be just that! I picked out the cutest Halloween costume for Stella (it's a surprise so it won't be revealed until closer to the time!) Rob's costume is quite clever also.

The Winter 12 week term for Boogie Bunnies starts up Nov. 5th/6th so people are starting to enroll now. It is turning out to be a very successful business & I am very pleased with all my hard work & enterpenurial (sp?) skills :) I just hired an assistant to help with the classes to make them run more smoothly. In the Winter term we will be having a couple mommy & me classes, one is for 3months-12 months of age & the other is for 1-3 year olds that aren't quite ready to be in an independent class yet. Then of course the usual 2-4 year old unassisted classes.

I am thrilled for my birthday coming up Oct. 22nd. Robert is planning something special but I told him I would like dinner @ The Keg ( my fav restaurant) , a luxury suite at a hotel that night with one or more things from my bday/xmas wish list:
wishlistr.com/rss/kristinrose LOL.... Let's see what he ends up doing.... I will keep you updated.

Being a stay at home mom is very rewarding but also a lot of work! I crave "me time." Stella goes to daycare on Mondays from 9-3 this gives me time to myself. But it goes by so fast & there is always lots to do that I don't really have time to relax. I wish I had her in 2 days of care, one day to do stuff & the next day to rest. LOL...... ANYWAYS, I LOVE STELLA BELLA. SHE IS THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE. Rob works a lot. I feel like I never see him & when he does finally have time away from work he is still in "work mode"..... we need to take a vacation! We are looking to possibly go to the keys in February... I wish it was February tomorrow =)

Boogie Bunnies

I am very excited to start up my creative movement classes for toddlers. I assisted with creative movement in Houston & had a lot of fun. I am going to teach basic ballet, jazz & modern dance moves to 2-5 year olds. We will have a new theme every week & have different music & activities to learn & have fun with. The kids will look so cute in their dance attire consisting of tights, leotards, dance slippers & tutus (which are optional).

All the parents are so excited to see how cute they look all dressed up & learning new moves. This promotes socialization skills, following direction, building self esteem/confidence & gaining some independence. All children love to sing & dance so this helps their creativity shine through! The fist class is on Saturday the 17th! I am so pumped to see how it goes!

Being a stay at home mommy!

I know it has been way to long since I last wrote. It has been so very busy around here lately. My mom just left, she was here for a few days and I know that her and Stella enjoyed their time together. We visited Newaygo (our family cottage & lake), it was a lot of fun, Hunter got to roam around the woods and Stella also got to spend time with her great grandma & great aunt & great great aunt.

I can't get over how fast Stella is growing. She will be 6 months on Monday. She is the size of a 1 yr old! She can roll over both ways and kind of scoot around. One thing I notice about her (which apparently was the same for me all my childhood) is that she ALWAYS needs a circus! She gets bored very easily with things and wants to move on to the next thing or be picked up and changed positions. She makes this ugggggh Noise over and over again when she is done with the scenery or the current activity lol. It is hilarious but at the same time kinda annoying. She takes after her daddy, I think she might have ADHD as well. =)

After much discussion about whether I should go back to work part time or not we have decided that I need to be a stay at home mommy. I have always toyed with the concept but never fully embraced it as my job description until this week! I am so excited about being there for every milestone, knowing that I am providing the best care possible for our daughter, and calling myself a true "homemaker".

I am saving us so much money but not having to pay for childcare or a cleaner. My days consist of caring for Stella & our doggie Hunter. I cook, clean, do laundry, exercise, go for walks with Stella strapped to me, do our grocery and other shopping, do gardening, Stella & I signed up for mommy & me swimming lessons that start in July & also there is a playgroup that meets once a week that we are going to start going to. Part of my job description is to also manage our finances & pay the bills, bargain shop, cut out coupons and fun stuff like that. I also watch one of my old daycare kids 3 nights per month when her mom works the night shift. I get some play money from Rob each week that I can spend how I want, and I use our debit card for things we "need". It is a great arrangement. I am so happy with our life and I feel truly blessed that we are able to live how we want and that I am able to care for our child exclusively.

I have also gone on a health eating kick & exercise religiously. I feel so energized and happier, more full of life. It is also a lot cheaper to eat healthy with groceries than to eat poorly with drive ins and take out! I will be tracking my progress on here as we go, so far I have lost 12 lbs in 4 weeks!

Stella's Baptism

This Easter Stella was baptised with her cousin Quinn. The weekend was beautiful and the girls were little angels, it went very well. Stella had her hands clasped together the whole time like she was saying her prayers. =)
I am very lucky to have such a good little girl, I love her very much. I am going to start taking her to church one Sunday a month. I would like to get her involved in the Catholic church and am anxious to find one I like in the Kingston area.

Mommy's first scare!

Stella started out with what seemed to just be the common cold. A couple days later I noticed she was severely congested and sounded horrible! When she would cough she would sometimes choke on the phlegm and turn bright red and be gagging so much she would stop breathing for a few seconds! I was in such a panick! She also would start wheezing so badly that you could hear her from another room away!

It seemed to me like she was perhaps having asthma attacks. I took her into Kingston General Hospital a few evenings back and she was admitted right away with the triage nurse saying "infant under resperatory distress here!", that made me so terrified to hear that!

They hooked her up to a nebulizer with asthma medication in it, and it seemed to help a lot so they sent us home... saying it was probably just a cold that got in her chest and it will go away in a few days...

Something just didn't sit right with me on calling it just a COLD! The symptoms started to come back and so did the wheezing, I took her back in the next morning and asked for them to please look into it further, of course the wheezing stopped by the time I brought her in so they said again "JUST A COLD!"

When I brought her home it got worse and I decided to take her into our other hospital in Kingston called "Hotel Dieu" it has an emerg outpatient department just for pediatrics (this is the place I should of taken her all along, but I totally forgot about it.) The doc came in right away and knew what it was just by listening to her! She said its RSV, which is a resperatory virus.... It can be quite dangerious for infants so they sent us home with an inhaler with a mask attached to it to give to infants and I am to give it to her every 4 hours or so throughout her cold.....

IT IS GETTING MUCH BETTER, WE DON'T HEAR HER WHEEZE AT ALL ANYMORE. I asked if this could be asthma and she said yes, it could be however they do not diagnose asthma to infants or kids under 5 just because it could be so many other things, so if she has this same cough and wheezing problem with every cold or allergy she has until she is about 4 or 5 then it probably is asthma, so we will have to wait and see.

Stella's first plane experience!

We had our first vacation to Florida as a family unit this early March 2010.
We knew the weather wouldn't be GREAT since we were still going in late winter, but never could we have guessed all that would go wrong!

Stella was an absolute DREAM on the flights, her ears didn't bother her one bit and she slept pretty much the entire time both ways. The problems we had were with the airline company we chose "United Airlines".... (and also some other problems along the way.. here is our story) Please people, let me vent here.

We left for our flight from Kingston to depart in Syracuse, NY to Washington DC, to then connect to Tampa, FL..... On the way to the border we realized we forgot to drop off our house key at Rob's parents house since his dad was going to work on the renovations of our basement while we were gone. We were already 20 min down the 401 then turned back around.....

Then we left the 2nd time after dropping off the key and once we got to the border we were "randomly selected" for the day to have our car searched and to go in the building and be interrogated by police while they played 20 questions for about 45 minutes (meanwhile Stella was getting fussy so I had to go into their bathroom to breastfeed and change her diaper.)

Then we finally took off and while going through security at the airport they had to search the stroller and carset base really well so in the meantime the bins got discombobulated going through the xray machine so we forgot our infant backpack carrier thing....

Then our plane was delayed 15 min. so we were afraid we would somehow miss our connecting flight in Washington, D.C..... We got to Washington and their airport is a freaking ZOO!! It is soo spread apart, we had to take 2 shuttle buses, and go up and down escalators and take elevators with the stroller.... and of course I had to take 5 min to change Stella's diaper.... we were literally RUNNING TO OUR GATE.... and when we got to it they were JUST CLOSING THE DOORS, AND WOULDN'T LET US ON!!!! I was RAGING!

Well, if you know me well enough, I HATE CONFRONTATION, but if something really gets me HOT I will LOSE IT AND GO APE SH*T... this was one of those times. I ran to customer service and gave the lady a piece of my mind, told her it was the first time we were traveling with an infant and made it impossible to get here on time, and that United should of not of given us this itinerary because it was set up to fail. She gave us nights accommodations and the nearest Holiday INN and 2 meal vouchers to use at the hotel, our flight was scheduled for 5am the next day... it was already 12am.

So then we were given horrible directions to get to where the shuttle bus would pick us up to go to our hotel, we finally find it and have to wait on the curb in the cold for 30 minutes at midnight until our shuttle finally came... I was crying because Stella was crying because she was hungry and a bit chilly, and I hate to see her suffering. We were a mess!

The next morning we have to wake up at 4am to catch our flight.... 4 hours later.
We finally make it, but now we have problems with the rental car. Robert didn't realize he had to have the $300 for the car plus another $300 for liability available on a credit card, instead he had $300 on credit and $300 cash or debit... they wouldn't work with us on that so he had to leave Stella and I at the car rental place and take a shuttle back to the airport to use the atm to take $600 cash out to rent the damn car.... FINALLY WE GET TO MOM'S BEACH HOUSE...... (while we were there the air mattress we were staying on popped so we had to buy a new one.)

Then the trip home...... connecting flight in Chicago was delayed 2.5 HOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we were already 2 hours to wait at the connecting airport, so we waited a total of 4.5 hours in the Chicago airport for the next flight... once we get to Syracuse MY BAG WASN'T THERE!! someone stole my expensive luggage with all of Stella and I's stuff in it....

HOME NOW AND PISSED. NEVER GOING ON VACATION AGAIN!!! I DON'T THINK ANYONE CAN TOP THIS OF WORST EVER EXPERIENCES TRAVELING...

When she smiles....

My favorite thing in the whole world is seeing my little girl smile. Someone told me that it feels like they are "pulling on your heart strings" (I can't take credit for that saying, but it is 100% true!) Some days are smilier than others, and boy do I ever like the smilier ones! Sometimes she will just burst out with a smile while she is awake and even when she is asleep. But other times I probe her to smile by talking in a high squeaky voice, playing peek-a-boo, making funny blowing and clicking noises, tickling her feet and belly, touching her nose and saying "boop boop"... anyways it must be humorous to witness me going through the hoops to get her to smile but the effort put into getting a smile is worth every second!
Sometimes if you get her really going her mouth will get so wide with a grin that you can see her gums as she lets out these gurgling giggles that at times will turn into a full blown laugh! =) It is the greatest gift ever!!
Since I was a little girl my mom use to say I had a dolphin giggle. It always stuck with me and Robert agreed so he nicknamed me "the giggler". I am giggler #1 and he nicknamed Stella giggler #2, and all the kids we have to follow will be #3,#4 depending on how many kids we have!
I now have an obsession with dolphins since this is what our family is named after =)

THE GIGGLERS ARE NOW SIGNING OFF....

I'm an AUNTIE!!!

Welcome to the world Quinn Michelle Windsor... 7lbs. 13 oz!! Beautiful and healthy baby girl. My brother and sister in law, Richard & Robyn gave birth to their first child on Feb. 17 2009 around 5am! I am so happy to be an aunt and very excited in the closeness of Quinn & Stella's ages! They will be very close friends and cousins. It will be neat to see them grow, play & learn together. Quinn even has webbed toes that run in the Windsor side of the family! HOW CUTE!! I our next child has webbed toes too!! LOL


PROUD MOTHER OF STELLA ROSE WINDSOR AND PROUD AUNT OF QUINN MICHELLE WINDSOR!!

Chubby Chicken

Or as Robert likes to say "butterball turkey with arms"... Our little girl had her 2 month appointment a couple days ago and at 7 1/2 weeks she weighs 13 lbs. 14 oz... The doc looked it up and apparently she is in the 99th percentile for her weight, 93rd percentile for her length and 90th percentile for her head circumfrance....

My mom says I must have cream of wheat breastmilk. This is absolutly amazing since you cannot overfeed a breastfed baby, so she is just naturally built this way. The doctor also said that babies that weigh more than their peers are more than likely going to be tall, it doesn't have anything to do with their weight later in life.... So she is going to be a tall girl, like her daddy, maybe she will be a model. Obviously this gene didn't come from my side of the family lol.

She is doing great, sleeping a lot more at night. Lately she just needs a feeding before bed, and another one around 2am and then not another one until morning time (7ish)... We are getting better, but we decided to keep her in the cradle in our room until she is sleeping through the night and doesnt need a middle of the night feeding, so probably in April or so...

We are planning a trip to Florida beginning of March, we are looking forward to it and hope that Stella won't mind the plane ride. We hope it warms up in Florida for our trip because there has been freezing warnings there the last few weeks!

ANYWAYS.... WE LOVE OUR CHUBBY CHICKEN... OUR GIGGLER #2!! =)

Baby Stella's Routine

My daughter is about 2 months now and I feel that she should have some form of a routine. Some of you might think this is a bit overwhelming for a 2 month old, but I am an analytical person and I think we all succeed better in life with some structure so a 2 month old is no exception.

It is so hard because she has had no consistency for the last 2 months and going through different growth spurts can make for different needs. Sometimes she would get baths in the daytime sometimes at night, her eating patterns are anywhere from 1-4 hours in between, she sleeps at all different times during the days and nights.

So while trying to make for some normalcy and not wanting to hinder her own clock I have decided to regulate the evening routine:

-6pm bath time!!
-Read 2 books
-Last bedtime feeding
-put to bed in crib w/ her pacifier


Now this is the first night we are trying this routine, and the first night she is going to sleep in her own crib instead of the cradle in our room... cross your fingers that it goes alright, we have the monitors in our living room and bedroom so we can hear her no matter where we are. She was waking up in the night every 2-3 hours and occasionally will go a whole 4 and I LOVE IT. I hear of some moms that say their son/daughter at this age will pretty much go the whole night without a feeding (about 7-8 hours)... I really hope this new routine will help bring that on!

My hopes is that by her going to bed between 6-7 she will wake up for a feeding around 1am, go back to bed right away after the feeding and then wake up for the day (morning feeding) between 7-8am! But, of course this is a long shot, but the ultimate goal.

I was reading something online about the "E.A.S.Y" method for during the day, and this is the routine I started following today and it is going well. I don't want to push it this early on with a routine during the day so I just follow the E.A.S.Y steps....

E- EAT (NURSE)
A-ACTIVITY (swing, story time, toys, dance w/ her in my arms, put her in the carrier and walk around, and other interaction)
S- SLEEP (during the activity time when I see she is getting drowsy I put her down in her bassinet in the living room)
Y- YOU (me time while she is resting to get stuff done around the house)

and diaper changes... let me tell you there will never be a routine for those! lol
I will change her diaper whenever I can smell a dirty diaper or HEAR that she has dirtied her diaper (which are EXPLOSIONS that you can hear in all rooms of the house) and also just to freshen one up before or after a feeding, but most of the time I will change her and then two seconds later I will hear the explosion AGAIN and have to go change it.... THANK GOD FOR COSTCO!!!!! :)





UPDATE FROM LAST NIGHT (FIRST NIGHT ON ROUTINE)
Well, last night didn't go so well, but it can only get better from repitition..
BED AT 6:00PM
SHE WOKE UP FUSSING AT 6:45PM
ROCKED HER BACK TO SLEEP BY 6:55PM
FUSSED AT 7:05PM
ROCKED BACK TO SLEEP BY 7:10PM
FUSSED AT 7:15PM
LET HER COMFORT NURSE ON ONE BREAST FOR 5 MIN. UNTIL SHE FELL ASLEEP (consumed enough for a light snack) - she was back to sleep by 7:25pm
10:15PM FUSSING - DISCOVERED SHE NEEDED TO BE BURPED AGAIN, FELL BACK ASLEEP
1:00AM FUSSY - ROCKED BACK TO SLEEP BY 1:05AM
2:15AM FUSSY- FIGURED IT WAS FROM HUNGER, NURSED HER & CHANGED HER DIAPER AND ROCKED BACK TO SLEEP BY 2:40AM
10 MIN LATER FUSSED AGAIN, PUT PACIFIER BACK IN HER MOUTH AND SHE FELL BACK ASLEEP.
5:30AM FUSSY- NURSED HER THEN ROCKED HER BACK TO SLEEP BY 5:45AM
(6:15AM ALEXA, MY DAYCARE KID ARRIVES, STELLA IS STILL SLEEPING ;)
7:00AM STELLA IS UP FOR THE DAY!!!

---THINGS CAN ONLY GET BETTER RIGHT??---

How it all started 27 hours later

I went into labor on Saturday December 12th at 11pm. I remember feeling period like cramps a couple days before and they got a little more intense Saturday evening, I thought nothing of it and just thought it was normal "body preparing for birth pains" and that they would eventually subside.

Around 11pm I started to time them and realized I was getting the pains and tightening every 5-7 minutes recognizing these as not just Braxton Hicks contractions, but possibly the “real deal” I woke my husband (Robert) up from his sleep, and he said to wait it out a bit longer. I rolled outta bed and had a long hot bath and came downstairs to continue timing contractions and also to call my mom (who lives in Massachusetts) and let her know what was happening so she could be on stand by and to get prepared to leave for her 7 hour drive.

Around 2:30am on Sunday December 13th the contractions picked up to every 5 minutes and doubled in intensity. I decided to wake Robert up again and told him we should head over to Labor & Delivery because I was certain I was gonna have this baby sometime that day (the 12th...but, little did I know the amount of hours to come...)With reluctance Robert finally got dressed and we left with Hunter (our dog) and dropped him off at my in laws house on the way to the hospital.

When we got to the hospital they could clearly see the amount of pain I was in and didn't make me wait for the triage nurse, instead I went right up to the hospital bed for them to check me. They said I was dilated 2 cm and I was pretty thinned out, they said I would be having this baby soon, but because this would be my first birth it could take a while and there was no sense going through early labor at the hospital when I could be home until it gets closer and my contractions are between 3-4 minutes apart. I was agitated because I didn’t want to get sent home again.... We got back home around 4am and I stayed in the living room using my breathing techniques to get through each contraction.

Robert had to leave for work at 9am and he said to call his cell as soon as I felt the contractions getting closer together. I called him at noon because I couldn't stand it anymore and the contractions were between 3-5 minutes apart.

When he came to pick me up we decided to do a bit more labouring at his parents house (which is on the way to the hospital) just for fear that we would be sent home once again. We stayed there until 2:30 and the pain was intense. When we arrived at the hospital they checked me and I was 4 cm dilated and they decided to go ahead and admit me.

At this point my mom was still about 3 hours away so I was nervous she wouldn’t make it in time since I picked her to be my coach and really wanted her love and support through it all. They wanted to know if I wanted something to take the edge off of the contractions, and I said “yes” in desperation and got a dose of morphine. I thought well maybe just this little bit of morphine is alright and I will skip out on the epidural........

During labor I kept going from my hospital bed to the bathroom to have a shower and Robert would hose me down and take off my socks and hospital gown and put them back on about 20 times. Something sweet he said that I will never forget as he was hosing me down in the shower was " I am watering my two roses". (My middle name is Rose and our baby girl's middle name is Rose as well.)

Finally my mom shows up around 5:30 and at this point I believe I was still around 5cm and my water had not broken yet. They decide to break my water and when they did the contractions that were already pretty wild started getting considerably crazier. At this point I decided to get another dose of the morphine that was worn off already. I looked like the exorcist and through my contractions I would make these loud breathing noises as I rocked my head back and forth from side to side pretty violently like I was possessed the motion and pattern helped me through the pain.

Around 9pm I was stuck at 9cm and wasn’t progressing further but had this overwhelming sensation to PUSH the baby out! Doctor kept saying try to fight the urge but if it just happens then that is the bodies way of taking over to help you dilate that last centimeter. I couldn't’t stop it so in the middle of my breathing I could feel myself bearing down and my whole body was going into convolutions and the pain mixed with the morphine was causing my eyes to roll in the back of my head so I couldn't see straight!

The doctor then comes in around 12am on December 14th and says “you aren’t progressing any to get to the last centimeter so we are going to have to administer pitocin through an IV to try and intensify and speed up your contractions even more, and with that you will have to get the epidural, or we will have to do a c-section.” So that was that..... I ended up having to get the epidural after all, at 9cm dilated!! I basically felt that I did go all natural because I got so far without it. But, once I got the epidural it was such a relief! I could actually nap! My body was so relieved. After the pitocin kicked in things started to go pretty fast and furious. At 12:30am they checked and I was 10 cm dilated FINALLY!!!!

When I felt the pressure they wanted me to pull my legs up and start pushing. The problem was I definitely felt the pressure but found it hard to know what to push towards (hard to explain but I am sure you can imagine.) Anyways, I pushed and pushed with all of my might and she just wasn’t coming out! After 2 hours of pushing they mentioned something about using a VAC to suction her out, I didn’t want that so I found the strength somewhere within to push harder than before.... Her head kept crowning but she would then slide back in, the doctor eventually maintained a good enough grip on her as I continued to push. They were really good because they would say stop, hold, small pushes or big pushes so it would direct me to prevent any tears!

After 2 and a half hours of pushing and 27 hours later she came out and I was so overjoyed. My eyes were so swollen from pushing that I couldn't see the little girl I just gave birth to! It was so sad, I felt like Rocky! They placed her on my chest, I was squeezing her so tightly since I couldn't see her the nurse said “ I have never seen a women squeeze her baby so tightly” lol.

STELLA ROSE WINDSOR

BORN DEC. 14 2009

8LBS. 4 OZ.

21 1/2 INCHES LONG

& GORGEOUS!!

*Picture shows her right when she was born, saying "Heyyy look at all the room I have out here!!"